The State of My State

I haven’t been too political in my writing and haven’t commented a lot on the state of the world outside of commenting that there are upheavals and disease in general. I have tried to keep most of my writing about my internal exposition. I have reached a point where I am actually scared and worried about the world and in all honesty angry and ashamed that we as a society have ended up at this place in history.

I’ve tried to wrap my brain around the state of affairs in our government, the systemic racism that has finally come to a greater light in the harshest of ways, and the disease that has been borne out of lack of care for the planet we are called to care for.

I’ve struggled with whether or not I even have a place to speak to these issues. I have come to recognize my own white reactions to certain triggers. I’ve had some knee-jerk reactions to phrases spoken and had to get clear with my actual thoughts and feelings about many issues.

Probably the most blatant example was the first time I saw the words “Black Live Matter”, I have to admit that I did immediately think, “All lives matter”. But, gladly, I checked myself, knowing that wasn’t the point. Like the earlier civil rights movements; suffrage, gay rights, the ERA, etc. the fight isn’t to get more “rights” than other groups but to simply be equal in all ways under the law. The promise of this country at it’s finest.

As I come to more deeply examine my own biases and call myself out on my own broken and antiquated ways of thinking, I know that, like all of us, I am a work in progress. I have to unlearn and relearn so much.

Sometimes, I worry that it is too late for my generation. Have we gone too far, for so long without looking at the world truthfully? Is our lack of understanding of the full history of our country dooming us to repeat that same history again and again? Just like we do in our personal lives, are we destined to repeat the same destructive behavior over and over again until we finally learn our lessons?

Sadly, I am convinced that as a society that we are not introspective; too selfish, and self-serving to see beyond our own immediate needs. There is a deep intolerance for intellectualism and a sense of pride in willful ignorance. Us v them mentality seems to be stronger than I can remember in my lifetime. I feel like we are devolving and we will destroy ourselves from within.

I pray not. I pray that eyes are opened and collectively we heal and repair and rebuild what is broken. I think it has to start in our own hearts, as we open our eyes to see and our ears to listen, and then figure out the right things to say and do, and then do them.

I think for the next few days, at least, that this is where I will put my energy in this blog. To discuss different issues one at a time. there’s too much to unwrap in one post. I hope that this will build some commentary. Teach me when I don’t get things right. I am open to learning. In return, if I write something that challenges you, think about why it challenges you. Check your heart, and then let me know. Dialogue is a good thing. It’s how we learn and hopefully grow. Growth is creation, and in the great words on Jonathan Larson, The opposite of war isn’t peace, it’s creation.

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